so ill make this a quick one. Tonight was amazing. 18 Visions floored me live. i'll make a more detailed entry later. it was a superlong day and im supertired. dealing with the superwhinybitchfromhell didnt help AT ALL.

Tonight it was pretty dead at work. I like it that way. We can get out faster after we close. haha. I went out today to get the new Blender with MCR on the cover.... I also had the best Hershey Bar of my life. It was Special Dark Chocolate Espresso. Freaking AMAZING.

Now i just wish i was down in Cambridge with my LindsayPie and Izzy[aka Liz ON Fire] hanging out. Say When hasnt even gone on yet. If i had my own car i would prolly be down there right now instead of being here. But fun fun fun Izzy bought me a say when cd. weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.

Being home kind of depresses me. I was really having a good time with my dad. I was carefree. Now everything is bothering me again. Happy Fuckin' Holidays.

so yea thats my life right now.
yippee.

OOOOOOOO SHIT. Tomorrow........ 18 VISIONS. wicked excited. not too excited about bringing my mom to work for 7am but yes wicked excited.

Malsay! returned from the disco @ 2am...........last night's panic show was mindblowing. The Tsongas was full. I thought i was at a backstreet boys show cuz i thought my ears were bleeding from the screams. Brendon's singing was over the friggin top. I thought he was trying to outdo Mariah Carey. Ryan was amazing. His cute singing voice is improving and his makeup still amazes me. I love hearing the words he writes come out of Brendon. Spencer looked like Jared Leto gone bad. I really didnt pay attentin to Jon... the stage show was weird. the Drumline was awesome. The cover of Eleanor Rigby was fucking fantastic. I love panic.

Jacks Mannequin is amazing live. I like JM alot but I LOVE Something Corporate. But they are still soooo similar.

Plain White T's are so catchy and really good live.

Randomly @ 130am we met the fucking MATCHES. Shawn Harris is better than i imagined him to be.

<3 Malice..


ps. you smell like a slut.

oh yeaaaaaaaaaaa. i forgot. 1 week and 1 day until PANIC! AT THE DISCO! i've ssen a couple new pics but i really don't wanna ruin it for myself. but i'm pretty sure i'm gonna diiiiiiiiiie. Either from Ryyan or from being in the crowd. yiiiiiiiiikes.

i like how u can hear different parts of songs u never noticed before when u are listening to your ipod.

mmmmm so MCR last night.. New songs are incredible live. didnt meet them. almost met Frank. cried hysterically when they all left. Envy on the Coast made me feel ALOT better. we have amazing pics. I'm really sad and really tired and really amazedall at the same time. i dont wanna work today. cuz that means i have to get up at like 7 to go home and go to lameass TJMaxx. i hope my leg is killing me and i cant walk in the morning so i can call out.

:]

last night was amazing. me, linds, and keaton went down to Lupos in Providence and met up with Rachel and Lena for The Pink Spiders/Good Charlotte show. amazing. i love my new camera. the sound quality is staticy but u can actually hear the music and words too. i have amazing pics. amazing pic with matt friction.

sometimes when u get into new bands and some band all of a sudden comes back into action you realize how much u really missed them and how much they mean to you. thats hows gc is to me. Their music is pretty much the world to me alongside MCR. GC pretty much helped me live thru High School. i was picked on just because i liked them. I would rather die than go thru that crap again. I cry at every show because they make me insanely happy and their songs are so meaningful. Their new stuff is debateable. I'll still buy the cd b/c they are GC. Benji better watch his back. i can NOT wait until wednesday. :]

this morning i woke up 20 minutes before my shift. again.I like working that shift cuz i have the night off but most of the time im left with nothing to do so is it worth it?

Right now im scheduled for monday WEDNESSDAY and thursday of next week. I put in an RTO for wednesday off DEF 2 weeks in advance. if it doesnt change im calling out.

I have like no money right now. tomorrow whatever i get from TJs has to pay my phone bill. my stepdad still owes me $30 from last week. I'll need that for this weekend, along with the $20 i have right now.


I've seen on tv that you can fall out of love. Is it possible then for someone to feel like they've just fell out of touch with a friend/friendship?


i really dont know why i started this. its pointless.

buuuuuuuuuut. i cant wait to meet BENJI MADDEN. :]

no matter how much i say im not going to Panic!, i have to go. I seriously have to go. it's sad really.

Tom Conrad is out of the Academy Is... I can't hate william. ppl are saying Fuck Bill Team Tom but i really can't. i love all of them. William being #1.

oh, and i need a clandestine. and someone buy lindsay the stay gold hoodie so she doesnt die of a hreat attack or something. ok thanks.

Last night, i had a dream that me and liz got into a fight and i told her that we werent friends anymore.

and, once again today i am totally irritated. i honestly have nothing to say to her anymore.

.... now im even more irritated. but we wont get into that. mad stupid.

i'm in that mood again.

the mood where i feel like everything is falling down again. All i can do is cry because i cant scream.

i need a weekend at my dads asap.

Sometimes, i just hate being me.

Since last night my mind has been racing. But I feel like my body is on slow motion. Last night, was unbelievable. Sugarcult, The Spill Canvas, Halifax, Maxeen, & So They Say. The Spill Canvas bored the shit out of me. I really liked the first song they did though. It was interesting. Of course the other 4 bands were amazing. There are parts i would do over a million more times and there are other parts i wish didnt exist. I apologize to the people that may have gotten annoyed with me at a certain point. I dont know what was wrong with me after the show. I think i was really hyper or something.

Its funny how me and Linds can feel the same way at the same time. I honestly thought she was speaking for me when she was saying how she was feeling. Loving life but in a way depressed. I love going to shows etc etc. But i know theres so much more. I get easily annoyed now than i ever have. Sometimes i just feel like screaming. Then, sometimes i feel like noone gets it. Theres so much more to it than all that though and i cant even begin.

I want to let go, more than anything right now. But at the same time, i can’t. It’s so hard. <-- I will not even start on that person.

I don’t even know what to say now. i had it all thought out until i got here.

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the way im feeling right now is awful. i'm tired, excited, crying, and chill at the same time. Its seriously the worst way to feel ever. it's making me shake.

i hate being the only one with a curfew. STUPID.

♥ gabe makes me feel a bit better... even though i look wicked retarded.

im sooo tired and soooo bored. I feel like crying. I hate feeling this way.

I have a slight obsession with Eighteen Visions and i CANT wait until November 26th when they come to Axis. I would kill to go to NY to see them with the lost prophets and BLG.

so tomorrow night, my parents are coming home. I wish i was going to BLG.

Sunday, GYM CLASS HEROES and COBRA STARSHIP!